Knowing When To Make A Life Change
When do you know that it is time to go? When do you know that it is time to do something new? When do you know that it is time to make a change?
We’ve all asked ourselves those questions. We've been there, maybe more times than we dare admit. How often have we kicked ourselves for not taking a chance, for not following our hearts, or for staying in a bad situation? Especially when we knew, in our bones, that we needed to make a change.
Whether it is leaving or leaping, our body, mind, intuition, and heart all speak to us. It starts with an inkling, a sensation, a thought. Something is calling you, trying to get your attention. Something from deep within. It is time to make a choice. A choice that could set you on a new path towards your deepest healing, desires, wishes, and dreams of wealth, health, success, and happiness.
Sadly, we often stifle those ideas, possibilities and budding dreams with negative self-talk, over-rationalization, and self-inflicted fear-mongering.
Better The Devil You Know?
Good or bad, fear of the unknown is stronger than the certainty of what we know. We've all heard the idiom, 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't'. What this means is that it is often better to deal with someone or something you are familiar with and know, even if they are not ideal, than take a risk with an unknown person or thing.
There are documented, psychological reasons for our natural human tendency to stay in familiar situations. Relationships and jobs are the most obvious. Wealth and health, which are at the root of our lives, underpin these situations. Mindsets, beliefs, and thought patterns - subconscious situations that drive our outer reality - influence our decision-making. We stay put when we truly want to make a move.
But! There are people we know who have leaped, who have made moves. Big moves. Scary moves. Inspiring moves. Devil be damned. They leap!
The Unknowing Jumper
As I was getting input that finally pushed me to start my passion platform, Real Wealth, Real Health, several people told me that I have a knack for leaping into the unknown. I was dumbstruck at first. I never thought of myself that way. I always thought about my transitions as doing what I had to do to be a better person, evolve, and find fulfillment.
I don’t really 'leap without knowing', without planning, going through every possible mental scenario I can conjure up, without painful imaginary rehearsals, ridiculous anguish, and paralyzing fear. And let me not forget the ever-present: guilt, shame, criticism, and judgment that I level at myself. I go on a mental and emotional roller coaster that can take weeks, months, and in some cases - years.
Intellectually, I don’t like the idea of the unknown, especially if it involves financial uncertainty and/or instability. But the Universe knows that I have made multiple decisions that were exactly that - uncertain, financially unstable, sometimes crazy and mostly contrary to prevailing societal group-think about what I ’should do’.
Perhaps there is nothing I have railed against more than being told what I ’should do’ when the consequence was not actually what was best for ME. When it was not what my Heart and Soul needed or wanted. When it was not what my intuition and my instinct knew to be right and necessary for my evolution. I knew that 'The Shoulds’ would slowly kill me from the inside. And I have a fierce desire to live.
Taking a Chance on Myself
I have a track record of making decisions that have taken me out of 'perfectly good', comfortable, and even enviable situations. These decisions have brought me intense growth, amazing adventures and experiences, and life-changing shifts in perspective. My choices have also led to disappointment, heartbreak, failure, and loss. I am not without my bruises, scars, and wounds. I have residual ‘damage’ that I keep discovering, which I try to tend to with forgiveness and self-compassion.
I've lived in 5 countries. Each move came with leaving people I loved - family and friends. I've been married once before - and then found my Soulmate. I've had half a dozen careers in different industries. I've started businesses. I've joined start-ups. I've met and coached incredible people. I've trusted the wrong people. I've gained and lost in all sorts of ventures. I'm not rich or privileged. I've learned the meaning of real wealth. I've overcome major illnesses. I've come to understand the meaning of real health.
And I've said no to more situations than I've said yes to.
Each time, I had a choice. Every time, I made a decision. With every decision, I took a chance on myself and what felt right. I made a commitment to my personal journey and to my Soul's evolution.
The Journey of Life Changing Decisions
No matter how uncomfortable or unpleasant, when I leap, I always make it to the other side. Getting to the ‘other side’ is not a joyride. It has never been. What it has always been, however, is a journey.
There's an important element to the journey: feeling when the time is right, knowing it and believing in yourself to make that move - to make that decision. Resilience, inner fortitude, grit, and faith. Faith in yourself and in something bigger than you - but always within you. Faith that the outcome will be a mix of exactly what you need, and what you put into it.
There is no need for a change to be destructive or catastrophic. All the negative thoughts preceding a big decision never manifest. Those thoughts are created by the ego. The ego is scared that your Soul will shine true and bright and that it will lose its grip on you. What is behind the scared ego is the most beautiful, loving, and deserving Soul. My Soul. Your Soul. Our Souls.
Some of the most important decisions I made were completely internal - they didn’t require a breakup, a job-change or a physical move. Life-changing decisions can be little in their outward appearance, but soul-shifting internally. And oh-so powerful either way.
When my heart speaks, all the intellectualizing takes a back seat. As yogis say, "May your mind bow to the infinite knowledge and wisdom of your heart."